A public service announcement

Crash is not funny

This website was created to inform the world about an uncomfortable truth that has been kept quiet for far too long.

See the evidence
Try another name

After extensive research, we can confirm:

Crash told a joke. Nobody laughed. Business as usual.

It doesn't matter if there's an audience or not. It doesn't help.

Science has spoken. And yes, that was funnier than Crash.

The numbers don't lie

86
Failed jokes per day
90%
People laughing out of politeness
81%
Jokes that are repeats
7.2
Seconds of silence after a joke

Scientifically proven

6 reasons why Crash is not funny

1

Timing is everything, and Crash doesn't have it

A good joke is all about timing. Crash consistently delivers the punchline at the wrong moment. If comedy were a musical instrument, Crash would be permanently off-beat.

2

Recycling is great for the planet, not for jokes

Crash tells the same joke multiple times as if the first time wasn't painful enough. Repetition can be comedic when used intentionally. With Crash, it's just a memory problem.

3

The 'listen, this is really funny' opener

When someone starts with 'listen, this is really funny', you know it's not going to be funny. Crash does this every single time. It's the comedic equivalent of a spoiler alert for disappointment.

4

The self-laugh syndrome

Crash laughs harder at their own jokes than anyone else in the room. This is scientifically proven to be a sign that the joke isn't strong enough to stand on its own.

5

Puns at the wrong level

There are good puns and there are Crash-puns. The difference? Good puns make you groan in admiration. Crash-puns make you groan in pain.

6

The endless context

Before Crash gets to the punchline, there's first 15 minutes of background information. By the time the punchline drops, everyone has forgotten what the story was about. Including Crash.

Eyewitness accounts

What others say

“I thought it was a question. Apparently it was a joke.”

— Anonymous colleague

“Crash told a joke at a party. The party was over after that.”

— Former party-goer

“I once laughed at a joke from Crash. Turns out I was laughing at something else.”

— Friend of a friend

“Crash said "wait, I have another one." Three people stood up and left.”

— Eyewitness

“My phone autocorrected "Crash" to "not funny." Even technology knows.”

— Group chat member

Frequently asked questions

FAQ

But sometimes people do laugh at Crash?

That's correct. This phenomenon is known as "sympathy laughing" — a social survival mechanism where people laugh to break an awkward silence. It has nothing to do with humor.

Can Crash ever become funny?

Science is not optimistic about this. While humor can theoretically be learned, it requires a level of self-awareness that Crash currently does not possess.

Isn't this website a bit mean?

This website is a public service. We believe that honesty is ultimately in everyone's best interest. Besides: if Crash reads this and can laugh about it, that would be the funniest thing they've ever done.

What can you do?

Tips

1

Give Crash a cookie. Not because it helps, but as a distraction maneuver.

2

Send Crash to a comedy workshop. Or better: send the evidence and let it sink in.

3

Say it out loud at a birthday party. Preferably while Crash is telling a joke.

Know someone else who isn't funny?

Spread the truth or pick your next victim.

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There's more...

Curious what else Crash is?

Crash , you should be working

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Choose the next victim

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What are we missing?

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